flatfish+++ writes:
*SLAP*
STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM, Version 1.3
copyright whenever, by someone else.
(check all boxes that apply)
Dear:
[X] Clueless Newbie [X] Lamer [X] Flamer
[X] Loser [ ] Spammer [X] Troller
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [X] Geek
[ ] Freak [X] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist [ ] Fed [X] WaReZ D00D
[ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist [ ] Homeopath
[X] Stereotypical AOLer [X] "Expert"
[X] Unbearably self-righteous person [ ] Racist
[ ] IBM/Mac Bigot [ ] Apologist [ ] Revisionist
[ ] Scientologist [X] Evolutionary Dead End
[X] Viagra addict
I took exception to your recent:
[ ] Email [ ] Post to _______________.
[X] "News" article at __comp.os.linux.misc______.
It was (check all that apply):
[X] Lame [X] Stupid [ ] Abusive
[X] Clueless [X] Idiotic [X] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic [X] Arrogant [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous [X] Ignorant
[X] Moronic [ ] Boorish [ ] Fundamentalist
[X] Boring [X] Dim [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful [ ] Demented [X] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy [ ] Weird [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome [ ] Satanic [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent [X] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[X] Asinine [X] Pointless [ ] Annoying
[X] Much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
[ ] You spammed
[ ] You defended a spammer
[ ] You doubtlessly violated the Terms of Service of your ISP
[ ] You posted what should have been emailed
[X] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
[ X You obviously know nothing about the topic at hand
[ ] You obviously know nothing about E-mail
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
[ ] You place money above ethics
[X] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
[X] You made a blanket statement without backing it up
[X] You made unwarranted assumptions
[X] You posted a "news article" without bothering to do basic research
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
[X] You don't know which group to post in
[X] You made a post and didn't say anything
[X] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You crossposted to *way* too many newsgroups
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice
[X] You are the reason some groups are moderated
[X] You are the reason router firewalls were invented
[ ] You posted in HTML
[ ] You cannot recognize sarcasm
[ ] You made an error and blamed someone else
[ ] You flamed someone for a spelling error.
[ ] And you misspelled something in the process
[X] What you posted has been done before.
[X] Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
[ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply
[ ] You quoted nothing, so nobody knows what you refer to
[X] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
[X] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
[ ] You posted a URL that had nothing to do with the subject header
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in alt.test
[X] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[X] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[X] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You posted a "FAQ" that contains deliberately misleading information
[X] You make no sense
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful
[ ] Your sig is longer than the body of your message
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
[ ] You claimed that spamming was legal, even though nobody claimed it wasn't
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable. Each line just goes on and on, not stopping at 75 characters, making it hard to read.
[ ] You posted in ELitE CaPitALs to look k0OwL
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS, and you don't even own a TRS-80
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
[ ] You referred to the Usenet Cabal (There is no Cabal)
[ ] You attempted a deliberate invocation of Goodwin's Law
[X] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
[X] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of E-mail.
[X] You are a loser.
[X] This has been pointed out to you before.
[X] You believe O.J. Simpson is innocent
[ ] You have a direct genetic link to:
[ ] Sanford Wallace
[ ] John Grubor
[ ] Phil Lawlor
[ ] Stephen Boursy
[ ] Walt Rines
[ ] Zach Everett
[ ] All of the above
[X] ___other:_Usenet_Beavis___
[ ] You are one of the scuzzwipes from the Woodside Literary Agency
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed on general principles.
It is recommended that you:
[X] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[X] Grow up
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Consider how low the tolerance on the Internet is for Spam
[ ] Become Sanford Wallace's love slave
[X] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
[ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life
[ ] stop sending Email and get a life
[X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Have your medication adjusted
[X] Go to the top of a building and attempt to defy gravity
[X] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[X] find a volcano and throw yourself in
[X] pretend that you're Superman, and try to stop a runaway train
[X] go out on a date with Lorena Bobbitt
[ ] go out on a date with OJ Simpson
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[X] Put on a blindfold, and attempt to race in the Indianapolis 500
[X] Challenge Mike Tyson to a boxing match
[X] Put on a white sheet, hood, and take a walk in south-central LA
[ ] Read the FAQ
[X] stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up
[X] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup
[X] Attempt to win this year's Darwin Award
[ ] Do not pass along yout genes
[ ] consume excrement
[X] consume excrement and thus expire
[ ] Perform solitary sexual congress
[X] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test
[ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on
[ ] Don't bother getting a new account when this one is pulled
[X] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing
[ ] Refrain from sending E-mail until you have a vague idea what you're doing
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[X] You need to seek psychiatric help
[X] You're no Jack Kennedy
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[X] Learn how to post or get off the usenet
[ ] Learn what E-mail is for
[X] Go back to school and actually learn something
[X] Stop using Bill Gates' software, and learn UNIX
[X] Your mother wears army boots
[ ] You are possibly the most annoying person currently alive
[ ] _____other______
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including All of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this form.
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