In comp.os.linux.advocacy, Moshe Goldfarb.
<brick_n_straw@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote
on Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:12:51 -0400
<15vap764bqm0y$.bejdiel9znoq.dlg@xxxxxxxxxx>:
> On Tue, 15 Jul 2008 18:04:24 +0000, Roy Schestowitz wrote:
>
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>> Too many Linux distributions?
>
> Approaching about 100 different versions of Linux.
1000.
>
> No wonder Linux is used by 0.6 percent or people on the desktop.
> They probably look at the 1000 different versions of Linux, each one a wet
> dream for it's creator, and give up.....
>
> Linux is a mess.
>
Aye, that it is. We probably need to limit the versions
to a half dozen or so, which would be called, logically
enough:
Linux Starter Edition, which would limit the user to
six open windows, framed or unframed. (The panels
on top and bottom would take up two of these windows.)
The user is also limited to 1 RSAP (see below).
This edition would be very popular in Africa and Eastern Europe.
Suggested price: $29.99.
Linux Ender Edition, an edition that would be optimized
for retired folk on older hardware. Suggested price: $39.99.
Linux Home Basic. A must-have for the student or light user.
Includes Browser, a basic User Agent which looks like a modified
form of what today we call Firefox. $69.99.
Linux Home Media. For viewing TV, this edition is perfect.
Includes Linux Intelligent Media Player, a high-powered,
sophisticated player which can play duly authorized media. $99.99.
Linux Home Media N, which would not have Linux Intelligent Media Player.
$89.99
Linux Home Premium.
$129.99.
Linux Home Premium N, which would not have Linux Intelligent Media Player.
$119.99.
Linux Server Edition.
$199.99.
Linux Server Edition N, which would not have Linux Information Exchange
(a combination of Apache, PHP, JBoss, Python and Ruby).
$179.99.
Linux Enterprise Edition.
$59.99 plus $5.99 for every extra connection either in or out.
Discounts are available for 5 and 25 RSAP [*] packages.
Linux Database Edition, which would have Linux Actual Metadata-Exchange,
a framework for the hookup of databases.
$159.99 plus $6.99 for every extra connection.
Linux Hacker Edition, which would have exactly one text
window open, much like MS-DOS in its heyday. Unlike
MS-DOS, the prompt would be a '$ ', not 'C>'
or 'C:\>'. $19.99.
Linux Hacker Edition N, which would not include the
Linux User Management Program (the modern name for what
was earlier termed a "shell"); the user would be free to
write his own. Of course there's a minor bug that Linux
Enterprises is still working on, in that without the Linux
User Management Program, the user of Linux Hacker Edition
N would have to do some interestingly creative hacks just
to get into his system. But that's part of the fun, right?
$9.99.
Linux Ultimate. Includes actual drivers for video cards.
$329.99.
Linux Ultimate N. Includes actual drivers for video cards,
but does not include Linux Intelligent Media Player.
$319.99.
And of course Linux would require an activation key, so
as to ensure proper tracking and remuneration to Linux
Enterprises, Inc., which would be the corporation to
enforce these editions. Linux Enterprises Inc. would
also merge KDE and Gnome, as well as incorporate Xaw/Xaw3d,
Interviews, and any other GUI systems out there into
one Super-INtelligent Interactive System for Tracking,
Editing, and Rendering Graphical Language and
User Events.
Once FRED (the official name for this system, for reasons
known only to the developers) is completely developed,
all other GUI systems would be phased out, as they would
no longer be needed. This includes X, Beryl, and Compiz.
Updates would be automatic. No 'root' would be available
on any linux distro, as that would be dangerous; instead,
Linux Enterprises Inc. would be responsible for remotely
installing all software, whenever patches are necessary.
You can of course conveniently shut down your computer
by pressing the power button; the system would shut down
cleanly and start up where it left off with any updates,
when powered on again.
No, holding it down won't do any good; even pulling the
plug won't be all that effective. Just relax and
watch the blinkylight (there's only one anyway on
most home units nowadays).
Welcome to the New World Order. Wait...do we have this already?
Darn.
[*] remote socket access pricing.
--
#191, ewill3@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Linux. Because Windows' Blue Screen Of Death is just
way too frightening to novice users.
** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **
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