Verily I say unto thee, that The Ghost In The Machine spake thusly:
> In comp.os.linux.advocacy, Homer <usenet@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote on Thu, 29
> May 2008 09:56:06 +0100 <8m72h5-cfb.ln1@xxxxxxxxxx>:
>> "You will have the opportunity to help drive the strategy"
>>
>> I.e. make decisions.
>
> How does one drive a strategy? Is that like driving an automobile?
> (And I thought the "paradigm shift" of HP in the mid-90's was bad.)
I was thinking more along the lines of "drive a stake through your
heart" or "drive a wedge between you" or "drive you insane".
Yeah that's the Vole: drive = force upon you.
>> WTF is a "business strategy owner"?
>>
>> Does anyone out their /own/ a business strategy?
>
> One would hope that they can at least explain it. Dunno whether that
> equates to ownership. ;-)
Oh I forgot, this must be part of that sick culture that promotes the
concept that /ideas/ should be /property/. Like the way the Cult of
Scientology works.
> "Uhh...yeah, we went with Microsoft because they're a respectable
> vendor who...uh...*whips out English-to-bizspeak
> dictionary*...facilitates the transference of value from our ... erm,
> I mean, *to* our customers of our services..."
Yeah, that's about accurate. Add a few "customer dynamics" and
"delivering experience" for good measure.
>> "to define customer requirements"
>>
>> Erm, surely it's the /customers/ who "define" their own
>> requirements, not the vendors.
>
> It's a complicated issue. Part of this is indeed customers defining
> what they need from a company, but part of it might be a company
> trying to find customers and markets by convincing them that they
> need something that they've never needed -- or heard of -- before.
I.e. /tell/ the customer what he should "want". More stake "driving".
>> "and drive customer-ready evidence"
>>
>> LOL! That's a new one. "Customer-ready evidence" ... honest m'lud.
>
> It's an interesting selection of verbiage. Sounds like something
> along the lines of finding new markets and/or convincing prospects
> that they really need this new gizmo/software/process.
Isn't "driving evidence" just a euphemism for "bribe"; "witness
tampering" or "threaten at gunpoint"?
I'm convinced that Sweaty the Impaler must have personally penned this
job advert. How many times does it use the word "drive/driving" (i.e.
penetrating)?
> (Who, me cynical?)
Not as cynical as me, apparently. ;)
>> marketing teams have the right message and content to effectively
>> communicate value to customers."
>
> "Right message"? *snort* Depends on who defines the notion,
> methinks.
Well it's "right" for the Vole's wallet, certainly.
>> Gah! there's that stupid bloody phrase again. "Communicate value"
>> ... "deliver value" ... "give value". WTF are these pointy-hairs on
>> about.
>
> Delivering value = "convincing the mark that he's better off going
> with us than with our strawman evildoer." OK, that's a bit strong,
> but it's clearly salesmanship.
No they're not selling it, honest. They're giving it away free, yes
*free* I tell you. They're "/giving/ value". "*Giving*". They're so
"giving". And one gets all that "value", in a pretty pink box with cute
bow on it, with a gift tag that reads "Box of Value, Love ~ Microsoft".
Then suddenly one has "value", and one's business has "value", and the
world becomes a bright; sunny place filled with shiny; happy people. And
one's vacuous life is suddenly lifted to a higher plain of existence
because one now has Microsoft's "value" in it. Nothing that came before
had any value, of course, without that box of magic; sparkling fairy
dust called "value" from Microsoft.
It really brings a tear to one's eye.
--
K.
http://slated.org
.----
| 'When it comes to knowledge, "ownership" just doesn't make sense'
| ~ Cory Doctorow, The Guardian. http://tinyurl.com/22bgx8
`----
Fedora release 8 (Werewolf) on sky, running kernel 2.6.23.8-63.fc8
05:06:20 up 161 days, 1:42, 5 users, load average: 0.34, 0.48, 0.44
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