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Last Updated: Thursday, 11 November, 2005, 02:48 GMT
Bill Gates Converts to Linux
Bill Gates
Gates eyes the release of SuSE 10.0 with irresistible anticipation
Bill Gates has announced his permanent switch to a superior operating system which many have come to acknowledge and refer to as Linux.

The switch, says Bill Gates, does not affect his company's orientation as "business must carry on as usual". Bill Gates has openly confessed that he spent long nights patching up his home computer ultimately reaching the brink of total frustration.

His wife Melinda told our spokesman that Mr. Gates was often reacting in sheer craze and vented his anger at his keyboard. Ultimately, he decided to pull out the network socket, which appeared to have invited more harm than good.

Despite the wealth and ruthless domination of the global computer industry, Gates maintains it is programming itself which is his abiding passion. This time, however, Gates re-affirmed his obligation to QT and GTK, which he claims are far superior to lock-in-centered Visual Basic and the much-acclaimed ASP .Net framework.

It was only yesterday evening when Gates stood up at the chairs meeting and decided to evangelise Linux in front of his trusted colleague. "I can finally do some work", he said as he wiped tears which dropped beneath his eyeglasses. "I am just so excited, but at the same time frightened", he added. "How can we ever compete with Linux distributions that contain so much stable software? Google appears a minor threat as it beat us to it already. My only solace is that my memoirs are finally readable; they are no longer stored in proprietary formats."

Concerned with the President's dubious move, Microsoft's psychologists have set aside their management brainwash sessions and submitted Gates to a local clinic. They is no official announcement from Microsoft as yet.





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