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Last Updated: Sunday, 26 February, 2006, 07:48 GMT
Microsoft Loses Touch with On-line Mavens
Bill Gates
Windows supporters lose credibility and bind unflattering steretypes to their community
Microsoft has expressed concerns over their on-line mavens, which they occasionally refer to as "Munchkins". Microsoft's Marketing Mananger openly claims that the company is no longer able to get a grip on evangelists in disguise.

Microsoft's announcecement comes amid sensitive moments in the operating systems industry. Despite several unsuccessful campaigns, which deceive and reverse public opinion using manipulation of search engine results and excessive paid advertisements, Microsoft's largest rival continues to grow at exponential rates.

"This could not have come as a worse time", says Fred Jones of Advent Consulting. "Microsoft are already forfeiting some battles against the Open Source movement, which can no longer be stopped. With free yet superior software that offers more functionality and better security, Windows advocacy is left with nothing to cling onto, apart from the opportunity to insult, to lie, and to bribe loyal users".

Concerns arose after Microsoft had identified some of their formerly-employed professionals. These out-of-work individuals are said they have used blunt languages, leading to vexation in forums they had never been despatched to. It has become rather clear to the marketing department that things have gone out of hand. Evidently, the perception of Microsoft's software suffers tremendously. With security woes and an operating system which is disappointing even before despatch time, Microsoft is running of of time.

Microsoft's strategic group informed our correspondent that a spokesman will later appear in public. It is expected that Microsoft will take severe actions and retract people whom they once paid to spread propaganda in forums. Claims for damages are by the victims have not been ruled out. The Group has prepared for the worst by accumulating a compensation budget, which they hope can prevent media commotion.

Bill Gates

It is becoming clearer and clearer by the day that Microsoft fiddle with the patience of their clients, as well as the bureaucratic bodies across the world. The consequences of a monopoly which finances and manipulates information has become unbearable. It is only now that things have begun to turn upside-down. Microsoft's CEO is said to have gained over 50 pounds due to frustration. This is rumoured to be attributed to his staged destruction of Bill Gates' once-dominant software enterprise.




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