Roy Schestowitz wrote:
Thankyou for the job of MS Chief, can I have a yaught like my mate Schmit
has got? Lets make a start then shall we, we have a lot of work to do, but
we'll just have a nice cup of tea and jam doughnut first.
> A modern-day Gerstner is needed to cure all of Microsoft's ills
>
> ,----[ Quote ]
> | It puts us in mind of that age old joke about travelers asking a local
> | yokel how to get back to a town they recognize on the map. He replies
> | "If I was going there I wouldn?t start from here.? Where Microsoft is
> | right now is a lousy place to start and it seems to us it is looking
> | less promising by the day.
> |
We are starting from a big negative, a huge mess. But there is a rule of
thumb that always works, at least, it always works in Yorkshire. When you
move into a new house always start with a very small job, like cleaning the
fireplace, then you will have a quick success that will give you the
momentum to launch into the bigger jobs.
> | [...]
> |
> | We could go on. The abject and predictable failure of Zune, setbacks in
> | the browser wars with Opera, Safari and Firefox on the PC, and on
> | handsets, all making Internet Explorer less and less a household
> | name, the failure to penetrate handsets with a decent downloadable
> | DRM, the failure to lure advertising network DoubleClick into a
> | merger (it went to Google), and the countless lawsuits, are all
> | symptoms that Microsoft management isn?t losing its way, it has
> | lost it sometime ago....
> |
So which job shall we take on first. Well actually I say we take on a two
pronged job, put a hand across the table with a big 'Sorry' tattooed on it
(a henna tattoo, so we can wash it off later) to our friends at Firefox and
Opera. We will hand the Internet explorer side to you and have FF and Opera
pre-installed on all versions of Windows.
Job one complete, and the feel good factor is having a possitive effect.
> | [CEO Steve] Ballmer needs to call it a day, preferable graciously,
> | and in his place someone is needed who can change Microsoft's
> | reputation from a playground bully to a company that can be
> | sensibly invited onto the handset, and onto IPTV set tops and onto Linux
> | and Apple platforms, with its own next generation of platforms, none of
> | which are operating systems.
> `----
>
Ballmer's office may be the sign of a humbled chief exec, but I always
thought it looks too small to actually work in. So, turn that room into a
cuboard and I will take an office large enough for the many guests I will
need to entertain as I build up partners for my MS. Yes, that is partners,
no more slash-n-burn for My MS, we now work with people instead. I want MS
to be the sort of company that others want to work with, I don't want
companies afraid to do business with us in case we screw them, I want to be
able to eat a dinner with guests from Google, Redhat, Mozilla, Cisco, HP,
Sun and have them all enjoy their meal without worrying about whether their
chair might be wired into a socket somewhere. Then I will bring in my
special guest Asus and IBM, I intend to set our sights on an entirely new
sort of computer.
> http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/04/26/microsoft_needs_a_gerstner/
>
> Investors are deluded because Microsoft empties its safe and throws money
> at them (see below).
>
Sorry, I need to spend a bit of money. I have a serious need for the top
branch of the developer world, whether employed by me or through deals with
the companies that they work for.
For now we will go back to full support of XP and the applications on it.
Vista will be ditched and those who have paid for it will be given XP pro
and any compensation necessary by way of a appology.
But in the background we will be working on an entirely new OS for our
entirely new PC, fully safe, fully secure. We will open an account on
sourceforge, invite discussions from the world's developers, users,
educationalists and yes, artists too.
It might or might not have a Linux base, we will look at the whole thing as
a new object.
The games team. Before we invest in updating the Xbox hardware (other than
adding the missing cooling system), we will invest in games and handsets
that will get the gamers looking in our direction again. Hire the best of
the games developing companies to come up with a great range of games.
Handsets something like the Wii, where people can actually have fun when
playing games. We can always claw back some of the investment money on
household ornament damage limitation insurance.
Net3. I want a top notch team on this, this is where our future is going to
come from. It must have no bugs, all of the problems of Net2 must be gone
from Net3 but I want it advanced such that it is possible to design full
interactive sites from Joe Bloggs client computer just using his MS Office
software.
Then the day we launch our new super computer for home and office, I will
then press the button that links to my guests chairs whilst stroking my
white cat .... oops, it's true what they say isn't it, power goes to your
head. Maybe I should have had a custard doughnut instead of the jam one.
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