Dear University of Manchester Admissions,
I am currently a student taking up space at Whats-a-Matta-U
University located in Nervous Sheep Scotland.
I am considering continuing my studies by entering a doctoral program
at Manchester University leading to a PHD degree in Internet Based
Linux Trolling.
I understand that you have an intensive program at Manchester which is
targeted directly at my field of choice.
If I can be Frank for a moment, I'll reveal that I am interested in a
program which puts as little demand upon my free time as possible.
I understand you have a student registered in the Internet Based Linux
Trolling program who goes by them name of Roy Schestowitz.
He is indeed my mentor and I wish to duplicate his class and
requirment schedule because it must be one heck of an easy program to
skate through considering he has the time to troll the Internet 7 days
a week, twenty four hours a day posting anti Microsoft messages in
order to shill Linux.
I also understand that you have paid internship programs where I can
actually be paid by Linux organizations to troll the Internet.
I'd like to be considered for the same program that Roy Schestowitz is
enrolled in because it appears to be a whopper!
In conclusion, please consider my application and send my anonymous
regards to your eternal star student Roy Schestowitz at The University
of Manchester.
Deep Regards,
Alan Yunick
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